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As I imagine comes with wrapping up any job, I absolutely swamped with work I had to do to be able to end me service as a volunteer. Add that to trying to accomplish all the projects I had hoped to in services, plus saying goodbye to my friends in Villa el Carmen and other volunteers, I felt like I hadn't had a minute to breath for the last month. Every minute of the day was planned for some type of activity, despedida, or project (including what I like to call "Board Short" Financial Advising). So as quickly as it all started, it has now come to end. I rang the bell, literally, in the peace corps office a week ago, and have had plenty of time to think and dwell about what this experience has meant to me, and how it has played such a large role in my life.
I'm sure, that as time passes I'll come to realize more and more just what an impact my two years in Nicaragua had on me, but I here are some final take aways about what I learned.
- The value of downtime and building relationships. In the US, we're often to focused on the next project or the next activity, and running around. Many of us rarely had time to eat lunch, eating at our desks, or in the car, so as to be unhindered in our next activity. Down here, more time is spent on the process, than the end game, where building the relationship and getting to know someone is a lot more important. On a personal level, this was one of the toughest things I needed to adjust to. I'm all about being as efficient as possible, and getting things done, and the last thing I wanted to do, was sit down on someone's porch for half an hour sweating in a plastic chair, learning about the ins and outs of their family dynamic, when all I really wanted was to buy some fresh cheese. But in taking time to get to know my neighbors, community members, and counterparts, I was able to learn so much more about the past here, and how everyone was effected by it. It led to more interesting stories and a stronger bond. Sometimes, we would just sit, just not even talk, just being comfortable each company. The silence didn't matter. A close friend of mine, Danny Raimondi, used to push for conversations like that in college, but I always dismissed saying a conversation like that needs to start organically. I was wrong, and feel like I owe Raymundo an apology. Without taking the time to sit down and talk, and really get to know them, you never really develop a strong bond and relationship. And thats what is important in life, sharing a strong bond and relationship with the people you love.
- In order to grow you need to constantly push yourself outside of your comfort zone, and do things that scare you. It's easy to stay trapped in what my friend Mishka described as "Static comfort". By the way Mike, that post you wrote meant more to me than I ever really let on, and I thank you for the kind words you sent my way. By not challenging yourself, limiting yourself to what you know, you just go through life aimlessly, settling for whatever comes your way. I never want to settle. Never. I constantly want to grow and become a more complete person. I used to be terrified of making a fool of myself in the eyes of others, but that just became a daily facet of life when learning spanish. It forced me to study and practice, and constantly mak a fool out of myself, but hey I got better. Plus, that sense of fear or sense of being scared, it just makes you feel that much more alive, as if you're truly living. Maybe its corny to say, but it makes you feel as you have something to live for. And I found out too, that when nudged, I'm a very capable person, capable of accomplishing any goal I set for myself.
This experience has been incredible, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Although I miss my friends and family terrible, I'm even a little reserved about going back to the US. VIlla el Carmen has transformed into my second home, and I'll always carry a part of that town with me.
So what comes next might you say? Well first and foremost life comes next, and I fully plan on taking advantage of my spanish skills, being in central america, and recent "readjustment" allowance from the peace corps to travel around central america, canoeing, hiking, but mostly surfing. After what was a 6 day canoe excursion along the Rio San Juan, the border of Nicaragua and Costa Rica out to the remote Atlantic Coast, I now set my sites northward, and the surfing safari is about to begin, starting my way in Nicaragua, and slowly making my way up the Pacific Coast to El Salvador, Guatemala, and Southern Mexico. And when I get home around mid september, the job hunt begings.
And as suddenly as it started, that concludes the saga of the Wandering Shepard. Thank you all for taking the time to read about my tales, I hope they kept you all interested. And as I told all of my Nica friends as I left, "Te Deseo exito en todos tus esfuerzos futuros. Que te vaya bien!"
