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A year ago today, as pointed out by one of my best friends,
I stood on the edge of a cliff. Not a cliff in the physical sense, but a mental
one. I was on the precipice of starting something brand new in my life, and I
didn’t know what to expect. I only realize now how woefully unprepared I was
for my ‘stint’ in Nicaragua.
So I did the only thing I could think to do: I closed my eyes and took that
first step into the unknown.
Well I didn’t quite close my eyes. Because if I had, it
would have meant missing everything going on around me. And believe me, there
was a lot going on around me in this
past year. It’s shocking to think that a full year has passed. I remember as if
it were yesterday, stepping off that plane, onto the tarmac, and feeling as
though I was hit by a ton of bricks. Yes, it was that hot, and by the time I
walked past customs my shirt was soaked through, and I rapidly learned the
importance of an undershirt. But time is a two-faced mistress, and despite how
quickly this year may have gone by, I flip through the pages of my calendar and
journal, and realize just how much I’ve accomplished and been through. I mean
fuck, I’ve had more new unique encounters in the past few months than I had in
the past few years of my life, ranging from leading seminars in basic
accounting to bribing officers of the law, and everything in between. Things
haven’t always been honky dory, and there have been times when I’ve been
downright miserable and depressed. Abject poverty and unmotivated counterparts
and students will do that to you. As well as not being able to communicate
effectively. But, you know what? When
you’re able to conquer those moments of self doubt, you walk away a stronger
person. And as a result, although it is tough for me to notice or gauge my own
change, I imagine I’ve grown infinitely more in this past year, than years
prior.
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In this photo, you may notice we’re all holding a jar of
marbles, gifted to us by one of the most genuine person I’ve met. To learn
about the sentiment behind the marbles, take a look at this article:
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Along this wild ride, I’ve had the good fortune to have met
and been surrounded by great set of friends, and life certainly would have been
different without them. check ‘em out above. And what’s incredible about my set
of friends down here is that despite all the hardships that we’ve had to put up
with as a group and individually, all 21 of from Small Biz 56 are still here.
To put it in perspective, the Agg group we came in with is now 5 short of its
original size. And in fact, it’s something of a rarity to not only all being
here still, but to be so close emotionally. 20 of 21 managed to make it
Matagalpa this past weekend to celebrate our year anniversary, missing only the
older gentleman whose no longer participates in the night life scene of us
youngin’s.
So amongst the celebration of our one year anniversary, I
once again found myself on the edge of a cliff, but this time in the physical
sense. And it got me thinking about what my life has become, and what I’ve
become. And one quote in particular kept echoing through my mind, as I stood on
the ledge, toes dangling over 40 – 50 feet of nothingness, something my boy
Honest Abe said back in his hay-day: “It’s not the years in your life that
count, but the life in your yours.” This quote puts in single, cohesive a
train of thought a lot of what has been running through my mind these past few
months. When it comes down to it only you know what you want, and only you can
make yourself happy. You need to take advantage of everything that comes by
your way. And if there is something you want to do, don’t wait for others to
plan something, or make excuses why you shouldn’t/can’t do it. To borrow a
phrase from Nike with my own spin, just fucking do it. So in this instance, and
remember I’m literally on the edge of a cliff; I did just what I did last year
at this time. I jumped, this time eyes wide open, not wanting to miss any part
of the ride.
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