Wandering Shepard: Toña, Nicaraguan for Beer

Today, I’m going to teach y’all how to speak Nicaraguan. I know what you’re asking yourself right now: “But Sam, don’t they speak Spanish in Nicaragua?” And the answer is yes, Spanish is the official language of Nicaragua, but there is a lot more to communicating here than only knowing Spanish. In fact, a large part of the communication down here is non-verbal and not knowing all the hand gestures and whistles leads to confusion and miscommunications.

But before I get into the non-verbal communication, it’s worth mentioning that there are also some words that are 100% Nicaraguense. If you don’t want to seem like a tourist while traveling around the country, there are actually key words you can drop, that immediately transform you from just another smelly backpacker to someone who has been around the block more than a few times. Now een if you don’t speak Spanish, everyone knows the Spanish word for party: fiesta. But down here, the word used most often is bacanal. So if you’re talking with a Nikaraguan on the street and ask them if they’re going to the fiesta tonight, they’ll look at you strange. But say, “vas a la bacanal esta noche?” and you may get a response along the lines of, “so you learned you’re Spanish in Nicaragua?” That by the way is an actual response I’ve gotten. Or another good one is Nica equivalent of “awesome” or “rad”, which is tuani. So if someone is wearing a fresh pair of kicks, an appropriate response would be, “Que tauni son esos zapatos!” (Those shoes are rad!) Or here is a strange example of a Nicaraguan expression: Adios. True, it does mean goodbye, but it can also be used as a salutation as well. You know those awkward situations when you’re passing someone you know in the street or in the hall, and you want to acknowledge them, but don’t want to be rude and not stop and talk? Well not a problem here. Simply say “Adios!” and you’re in the clear. I like to think of it as a Spanish version of the Hawaiian aloha. It can mean hello and goodbye.

What would you all some thing that’s not verbal, and that’s not non-verbal? I would call it whistling, based on the assumption that verbal means communicating with words. Similar to using “adios”, whistling is another good way of acknowledging someone quickly, while simultaneously not being rude and going about your business. While its considered rude and impolite in the States, its just part of life here. In fact, different melodies of whistling mean different things, from getting the bus driver to stop the bus, to “complementing” and ladies passing by.

So now to the non-verbal stuff. Not being the most articulate person, I’m going to use pictures instead and show you the different hand gestures, and underneath are the explanations.

This is an animals height

The fist, starting at your hip and shaken down to the ground, and back to your hip, means you have diarrhea. For the volunteers with weak stomachs, this one is a must know.

This gesture means that you’re hungry or are eating. To properly be understood, you have to move your fingers back and forth, as if you’re shoveling food into your mouth.

This means that a person is very fachenta (another Nica word) which means expensive, or a person who spends shells out the cash. No one has ever gestured this towards me.

This means full, as in the bus is too full of people to stop and pick you up. Or, as in I can’t believe I ate that entire Nacatamal, I’m so full. Also, if you open and close your hand in this form, it means scared shitless. Use your imaginations to guess why.

Come Here!

This Refers to human height

Pursing your lips together, and indicating to a certain direction means it’s over there. As I’ve discovered, over there can mean across the room, or across the town.

This is a great one. When a Nicaraguan is confused, or doesn’t understand what you’re trying to say, rather than tell you, Nica’s will scrunch their nose really quickly, two or three times. Here’s me mid scrunch.

I bet its easy to guess this one. The index finger waved back and forth means, “uh, uh, not in my house”. It’s a very emphatic No.

This is pinche, also a Nica word, which means that a person doesn’t spend a lot of money, or is a cheapskate. This one I’ve gotten more than a handful of times, from Nicaraguans and Americans alike.