Wandering Shepard: How Does it Feel to be Done?

I’ve heard it from other volunteers. I’ve heard it from my boss. And now I’m hearing it in my own head. How do you feel being done? And the answer varies on my mood. But before I explain further, I need to step back a second to give the question some context.

As of last week, the last of the municipal and regional competitions that I will help organize and compete in (as a volunteer) took place. These competitions, as I’ve mentioned before, are the culmination of a years work with the students, and are sort of an evaluation of your work as a teacher for the year. The whole school year builds up to these competitions, and once their realized, that’s pretty much it. The school year finishes at the end of November, and exams start halfway through the month, leaving only two or three weeks for additional classes. As was the case in most of my schools, my counterparts and I often “borrowed” time from their other classes to prepare for the competitions. That’s to say, that if the teacher taught both math and emprendedurismo to the students during the week, we would borrow the block from math. But now with competitions done, I need to “pay back” that block, meaning students now have math twice a week, leaving me with no class time. Although there is still a month left of school, it now feels like it’s already done. With school done comes a two month school vacation, and then already it’s February. From February its just four short months away until my service ends, and those months will be spent going over the basics of what is a business. If the first 18 months of my time down here has been any indicator, the time just flies by. And I expect it to pass even faster during this last leg. So if you’re still with me, it’s easy to see why the question “How do you feel being done?” keeps popping up.

In responding to that question, the first thing that comes to mind is my own evaluation of this school year, the only time I’m able to self-evaluate my work. Last year, entering the municipality as a replacement, I could only really take partial credit for the success of my schools, and next year was I will only be around for the first semester and miss the competition at years end. So this was my only full year working with the students, the only time I’ll be able to evaluate my self first hand. The most logical and easiest way was through the business plans and local competitions. During the competitions, there were moments when I closed my eyes, oblivious to all around me, and just thought, “I just wasted a year.” I wanted to strangle these kids who showed me through their 7 minute presentations that they learned absolutely nothing, and worse, seemed to spite me for making them do additional work. But I had to check my premises, and remember that I won’t be able to help everyone, that some folks just don’t want to learn, or just don’t care. So I looked for the groups that did care, and was delighted with what I found. I found students, from 5 of my 7 schools that truly wanted to learn, and better themselves, and it was a pleasure working with them. The three teams that won my municipal competition didn’t pout or release sighs of disappointment upon winning; they released shouts of happiness and cried with delight. I worked with these groups and their teachers/staff for two days straight, all day to help prepare for their regional competition. We worked hard all day, sacrificing meals and personal time. At days end I would be tired and disappointed I hadn’t exercised or done some personal errands, but I was happy. Ear to Ear smile happy. I felt like the time I spent here, all the days biking in heat, sweating through all of my clothes, was worth it. It was great to build a bond with these students in particular, and bring them to the regional competition. And at that regional competition, after watching them present, and sitting their waiting for the results, I found myself just as nervous as them. Not because it was an evaluation of my own work as some volunteers think, but because I knew how much it meant to my students, and I wanted to see them succeed. A week prior, I hadn’t felt like that, and didn’t expect to. My teams didn’t take home first, but they walked away with a handful of other prizes (Third, Best Business Plan and Best Marketing Plan) and their heads held high. So in my eyes, if just for these eighteen students or so, the year was a success.

And as for feeling done, yeah, it’s easy to think that, with my school responsibilities waning down. But nine months is a long time, and I intend to take advantage of them through a serious of secondary projects in the community. There is work to be done with a local eco-lodge, more university fairs to be had, and countless other projects on the agenda. So rather than a feeling of being done, I feel more like I have more time to focus my time elsewhere, on areas I may have been forced to, let’s say, overlook in my busy schedule. But in the meantime, it’s time to kick back and relax. This weekend is the annual cocktail party to raise funds for the national emprendedurismo competition, the only time in the year where all (or most) volunteers are together under one roof. And not only that, everyone puts on their Sunday best and their dancing shoes, and enjoys the luxuries (hot water and air conditioning) of one of the nicest hotels in Nicaragua, The Holiday Inn. It will be a true bacañal.